I feel good today


I think today is the first day in a good long while that I’ve actually felt good. For the past couple of months I’ve operated under a low level of tension, worrying about my writing career, worrying that I’m not reading enough, worrying about my mother’s breast cancer, worrying about… well, everything. Over the last few weeks, that feeling had only gotten worse. I wasn’t writing nearly as much as I needed to, and what I did write I wasn’t entirely happy with. Add in the fact that I needed to write a story for someone, needed to record narration for yet another person, and then work on my own audio production, and it all amounted to a hill I wasn’t sure I could climb.

But today I feel good. After two days of wrestling with that short story I mentioned, I made a breakthrough. You see, the story is for an erotica podcast called Erotica Ala Carte, hosted by my friend Philippa Ballantine. The premise of her podcast is that people get to vote for what they want the story to be about from a list of options, and then she writes a story using the options that were voted on the most. I offered to write a story for her, and the options that came back were: 1) It had to be from a female’s point-of-view, 2) it had to take place at a high school reunion, and 3) it needed to be a mystery. Now, the first option wasn’t that bad. I like writing female characters, sometimes more than I do males. The second and third options, though, were a bit tougher. I write science fiction, stories that take place way out yonder. I don’t do mysteries, and I don’t do modern settings. Luckily I have Terry, one of the co-hosts on my podcast, and he was able to chat with me and help me figure out what sort of story I was going to tell. But, after struggling through the writing of it for two days, I finally figured out why I was having so much trouble – I was writing it from the third person point-of-view. For an erotic story, I needed to come at it from a much more intimate perspective, something close in. So today I went through what I’d written and changed it from third person to first, making all the necessary adjustments along the way. Now I’m happy with it. More than happy, I’m excited (pardon the pun). I think the story flows so much better now, and I have total confidence that I can have a good story ready for Pip.

Anyway, that’s gone a long way toward assuring me that I can do this. When you have a problem, you have to sit down and figure out what that problem is and what you can do to fix it. I did that with my current book in progress, and I did it with this short story. I’m glad. I can write. Hurray!

Anyway, that’s it for now. I finally feel like I have a handle on things, and that makes me feel so much better.