Justin Macumber’s Blog

Yep, that’s right. I actually made a sale. One of my short stories was accepted by the online sci-fi magazine Ray Gun Revival (www.raygunrevival.com), and it will be published soon. The pay was small, but the validation and encouragement more than make up for it. I’m really excited. I’ll post more when I know more. So, for now, know that I’m one happy guy.

Also, I’ll be off this weekend to Comic-Con in San Diego (which in German means a whale’s vagina - true story). I’ve been looking forward to this since I failed to go to last year’s Comic-Con. I purchased four day tickets for my wife and myself as soon as they were available. I’m hoping to sit in on a lot of panels, and maybe get an interview or two that I can play on my podcast. Wish me luck! Either way, I know I’m going to have a good time. I’ll also be snapping pictures like crazy, so expect to see some of those.

Anyway, bye for now!!

My weekend started out pretty darn poor. On Wednesday (which is my “Friday,” so to speak) I had to stop and get some gas, and while I was filling up the tank I thought that it might be time to introduce something a little more solid to my diet. Truth be told, I was just hungry, and I was fed up with soft foods. So, figuring I could handle it, I went in and bought a hotdog. No bun, mind you. Just the dog with a little ketchup on it. I started eating it while driving home, making sure to chew chew chew it up good, but halfway through eating it a surging sensation in my throat told me that I’d made a horrible mistake. About two seconds later I started vomiting. Luckily (if there is any luck to be had in this tale of woe) I was able to grab the container the hotdog came in to catch the vomit. I continued to do that pretty much the entire drive home. Suffice it to say, I was sick.

For the next two days I couldn’t eat anything thicker than juice and broth. If I tried I just ended up throwing it back up. I was miserable and frustrated and angry. And then, to add insult to injury, on Friday I got on the scales and saw that I’d only lost a single pound since my last weigh-in the week before. You’d think after all that sickness that I’d have dropped at least a few pounds, but no. So, on top of my anger and frustration, I was also depressed. Poo.

Fortunately, Saturday morning my stomach felt a lot better, and I was actually able to keep some yogurt down. Which was good, because I needed my strength since my wife wanted to take some of our dogs and go for a hike at Dinosaur Park in Glen Rose. Now, you should know this by now because I am such a fat slob, but I am not a hiker. That isn’t what I do. I’ll play a video game about hiking, and I’ll watch a TV show about it, but I don’t do it myself. It’s much too… physical. Ick. But, I also knew it was something Krista really wanted to do, and it wasn’t like I had a valid reason for not wanting to get some exercise in, so I put my natural aversion to sweating and the outdoors aside and went to it with as chipper an attitude as I could. To my astonishment, I had a great time. The hiking trail wasn’t too hard to get through (though I did slip once and skin my left leg a bit), and by the time we were done I felt refreshed and invigorated. I actually want to go and do it again. Krista also had a good time, and the dogs were so wiped out that they slept during the whole drive home.

And now, Monday, I’m feeling pretty much back to normal. I still have a little bit of a digestive issue, but it’s manageable, and I’ll spare you the gory details. Today I’m going to be sending off two short stories for different contests (cross your fingers for me), and I’m going to continue working on my novels. The weekend started off shaky, but it ended up being a good one. Thank goodness, ’cause I needed it. Now on to Comic-Con in a few weeks!

It seems like I’m always lamenting the fact that I don’t post here often enough. I think the reason I don’t come by more often is because I doubt that there is anyone out there who cares all that much about what I’m doing in my life. I mean, we all have lives to lead, bills to pay, and issues to deal with. What makes my life any more interesting than anyone else’s? I’d like to think that the things I’m involved with, whether it’s my writing or my podcasting, would be of interest to someone, but I’d never go so far as to say that I’m worth a lot of bother. If you’re here, and you’re reading this, then I’m glad to know that you care. And to all those who aren’t here keeping track of my life, I can’t say that I blame you. I’m probably not at your blog either.

As for what I’ve been up to lately, I think the biggest thing is my recent surgery. See, originally I’d not planned on discussing it. I’m not proud that I’ve become as heavy as I have. You’d think that, after being fat for nearly my entire 35 years of life, that I’d be used to it by now. That it wouldn’t bother me. It does, though. I’m ashamed that I let myself spiral to such a large degree. And it’s not like I haven’t tried to lose weight, though to be honest most of my efforts were token at best. My greatest success came about two years ago. My wife and I went on the South Beach Diet, and we took it seriously. After nearly a year of it I’d dropped 60 pounds, and I really felt better. But, I hit a plateau, and that undid me. I tried and tried to break through it, and nothing I did seemed to work. I got discouraged, and slowly it all slipped away. Eventually I gained every pound back that I’d lost, and then some more on top of it. At my heaviest (and this number comes from a bit over a week ago) I weighed 336 pounds. No, you didn’t read that wrong. But, recently, I decided that I was through just letting things be the way they were. Though I hated being fat, I’d let myself accept it. No more, though. So, I got LapBand surgery. My wife had had it done about six months ago, and she’s enjoy a good amount of success with it, so I figured I could do the same. Now, a little over a week later, I can report that so far I’ve lost 14 pounds. Granted, a lot of that was because I could barely eat anything for a few days following surgery, but I’m hoping it is a trend that will continue. I can already feel how it is affecting my hunger, which is in turn affecting my eating. One of the reasons I’m posting this personal information is because I don’t want to hide. I want to be accountable. I want people to expect things, because I find that my performance level goes up with I know others are counting on me. I’ll make weekly reports about my weight, and let’s all cross our fingers that every week sees the number drop. Help keep me honest, folks!

Anyway, I guess that’s about enough confessing for one day. I’m still working on editing “Harbinger,” and I’ve sent out some short stories, so know that I haven’t let the writing part of life slip. I’m still plugging away at it. Hopefully success in one aspect of my life will give me a boost in the other aspects.

Take care.

I’ve been busy. Busy enough, at least, that sitting here and telling you about what was doing and needws to do seemed too time consuming. Why talk about it when I can actually just get on with getting it done, right? Right. But, now that I have a moment to spare, I figured I would go ahead and chronicle my endeavors. So, let’s see…

First, the books. Book one, “Harbinger”, is about as done as I can make it. I’ve edited it, reedited it, edited again, and then had someone else go over it for me twice in the midst of all that. Until a publisher decides to take it on and sics an editor on it, I’m through with it. As for book two, “King’s Knight”, I’m about half-way through the first draft of it. I lost a little steam by switching back to book one for awhile, but I think in the end it will benefit the novel because now I remember some of the things that happened more clearly, things that affect events in book two, things that I need to now amend. I would be working on book two right now, but after all the typing and reading I’ve done over the past month or so, I just can’t bring myself to do it. Next week though, I will. Right now, though, I need to replenish my energy and strength.

I’ve also been working really hard on my short story mini-series, “The Ties That Bind”. Originally the title had “Tales Of The Breaking Dawn” in front of it, but since I might not ever return to that world, that pre-title seemed a bit pointless. Anyway, even though I gave the stories a major editing several months ago (reducing it from four stories to two, and while doing so cutting it from approx. 35,000 words to 21,000), I had to go through it and edit it once more. I want to enter it into a competition, but the word limit for the contest is 17,000 words. To get it down to that I had to go through it and just rip and slash everything that didn’t have a direct bearing on the story, contracting any two words I could into one, while at the same time adding in a little something here and there to make it all flow better. By the time I was done, I’d gotten it down to 16,200 words, and now it’s all just one long story. I think it is a very smooth, very fun read, but we’ll see what the judges say. I’ll let you know how it goes.

Lastly, I’ve been working really hard on the podcast. I’ve been getting interviews set up, chatting with people in the industry to get advice, sort through various bits of work, and generally just put everything together. It certainly hasn’t been easy. On the plus side, we’ve gotten some really good shows out, and I think we’re just now finding our footing.

Plus, I’ve been reading Patrick Rothfuss’ (we interviewed him on the podcast) novel “The Name Of The Wind”, and it is just incredible. I’m not a big fantasy reading anymore, but this book has pulled me back in. Just amazingly well written. I can’t recommend it enough. Go buy it now, and thank me later.

Anyway, that’s it from me for now. Just writing this little bit out has drained me. I’ll come back as soon as I can. Take care.

 … art is never finished, only abandoned. That becomes more real to me every time I read my work. No matter how many times I go over it and make changes, I learn something new or realize something, and suddenly I know of a way to improve my writing. It’s frustrating, but it’s also wonderful.

I’m saying all this because this week I began yet another editing pass on my first novel, “Sovereign Stars: Harbinger.” A friend of mine of who has incredible editing skills recently finished going over my manuscript, and he had a lot of edits and suggestions for how the make the work stronger. One of them was to create some sort of connection between my main characters. He felt that doing that would help the reader feel more connected, and after thinking about it, I agreed with him. So, earlier this week I dove back into the book from the beginning to do just that. But, I also knew I could further tighten and improve my prose, so while I’m adding connective tissue between my characters, I’m also getting rid of all the fluff and unnecessary verbiage. Sadly, there’s a lot of it. But that’s okay. Better to know that now and remove it than to have never come to that realization and had my book go forever unpublished because a publisher felt it was too fluffy and weak.

 So, that’s where I am right now. I finished editing the prologue and chapter one, and in chapter two I added sections where the three main characters meet each other and establish small relationships. I hope it helps, and I hope that one day you good folks will get a chance to read it.

My wife is a good woman. She works hard, she takes care of me and the pets, and she shoulders so much responsibility silently. So, a little while ago, I told her that she needed to take some time for herself. “A night out,” I said. “Go get a hotel room, enjoy a day at the spa, and then relax. Treat yourself.”

Surprisingly, she took me up on it, so tonight I’ve been all on my lonesome. I left work, picked up some Chinese food, and came home to a house full of dogs needing to go outside and potty. Not my usual Saturday night.

So, having the night to myself, I wondered what I should do. My default move is to watch a movie, and that was the direction my mind immediately headed. As I opened my DVD cabinet, I looked at my choices, but in the end it really wasn’t a choice at all. I’d been meaning to rewatch the movie for weeks. Now, two and a half hours later, I’m so glad I did, because it is as good now as it was when I first saw it in the theaters.

I’m talking about “Superman Returns”. For me, it is just about the best comic book movie ever made, with only the original Christopher Reeves “Superman” even coming close. It is grand, moving, heartwarming, and invigorating. I love nearly every frame of the film, and I’m not ashamed to say it. A lot of people seem to take pleasure in hating the film, but I don’t. It is clear that Bryan Singer wanted to make a love letter to the character of Superman, and this movie is just that.

Now, a lot of people ask me what it is that makes me love it, and the first thing I point to is Brandon Routh. I think he is amazing as Superman. His Clark Kent hits most of the right notes, from the bumbling way he walks around to the way he pushes up his glasses, but it’s as Superman that he really shines. There is such a… vulnerability to his portrayal, yet also a deep strength. He seems like a man lost, yet wanting desperately to belong. Every look and gesture shows how hard he’s trying to not feel like an alien, an unwanted visitor. But, when he has to turn on the power, he does that too in an amazing way. Just fantastic. I can see Reeves in his performance, and I think that’s wonderful.

Kate Bosworth as Lois Lane is good. Yes, she looks too young for the part, but she’s also able to capture her confusion over how she feels. In one minute she’s headstrong and willful, and yet as soon as Superman reaches out for her, it all melts away, leaving her as vulnerable as he is. Their scene together on the roof of the Daily Planet nearly makes me cry, especially as they are soaring over Metropolis.

Kevin Spacey’s Lex Luthor is spot-on. He gets a lot of negative remarks, but I thought he played the part just as well as Gene Hackman did. Spacey is a little more manic, and Hackman was a bit more smarmy, but in the end both of them were crazy, and that is what matters to me.

As for the more esoteric bits, let me first say how much I love the score. John Ottman did a fantastic job. He took John William’s theme, and then he carried it right to the moon. The soundtrack is just filled with sweeping moments and tender elements, and I don’t know if I’ve ever heard the Superman theme sound so romantic. It is one of my favorite soundtracks to listen to when I write.

But, I really think it is the way Superman is shown on the screen, the way he sounds, that drives it all home. Singer made sure that when Superman takes off, it isn’t just him blasting into the sky. He ascends. When he’s flying over the Metropolis skyline, you can hear his cape flapping gently in the wind. It all seems so… peaceful, so powerful, so angelic. There is nothing brutish or excessive in his movements. He is a god made flesh, and - though I know it sounds strange to hear it - I feel comforted by him. I can’t explain it any better than that.

Sam Van Hollgren, former co-host of the Filmspotting podcast, said in his review of “Superman Returns” that it was nearly a religious experience for him, and it was all for the same reasons I listed in the previous paragraph. I couldn’t agree more. I know it’s silly, especially for an agnostic such as myself. Maybe it’s the chorus in the music, and maybe it’s the way the sun spills around him as he’s flying into the sky, and maybe it’s because I know Superman has a good and noble heart, but watching “Superman Returns” is as close as I’ve ever come to feeling something of the divine.

So, Mr. Singer, Mr. Ottman, Mr. Routh, and Ms. Bosworth, thank you. You’ve given me a movie I know I will watch again and again, and I desperately hope that you’ll get the chance to make another one. Maybe this time more people will see what I saw.

I love video games. I always have, and I always will. My wife, while not a big player of games, still (thankfully) enjoys watching me play. Not all games, mind you. She doesn’t care for games that are nothing but running and gunning, games that are all violence and no story. When I want to play those, I do so on my own time. But, if the game has a good story, good characters, interesting gameplay, and something for her to help with (helping me keep track of items, level up characters, relaying how many laps there are on the track, etc), then there’s almost nothing she likes better than to snuggle in and watch. Her favorite games have been Star Wars: Knights Of The Old Republic, Psychonauts, Project Gotham Racing, Fable, Grand Theft Auto 3, and surprisingly Bioshock - I didn’t think she’d dig the scary premise).

But, one genre of game she has given me no end of grief about until recently was music games. The first time she saw me try and play Dance Dance Revolution, she nearly hurt herself laughing at me, and when she saw my play Guitar Hero for the first time she raced for a camera to show my humiliation to her friends at work. She pretty much dislikes any game that uses something other than a standard controller to play it, and the more hand movements are involved, the more she dislikes it (one of the reasons I got rid of my Wii). So, when I picked up Rock Band, I didn’t anticipate anything different from her.

Anyway, one day while she was taking a nap, I decided to play a little. About an hour in, she wakes up and comes out to see me playing through the solo on “Wanted Dead Or Alive.” She chuckled, but she sat down and watched me play a bit. Then I played “Cherub Rock,” and it was all over.

You see, my wife is a big Smashing Pumpkins fan. They are her favorite band. Not the Amore stuff, though. Strictly Gish, Siamese Dream, and Mellon Collie. I knew that Rock Band had “Cherub Rock” on it, and I’d hoped that if I could get her to see me play it, that her love for the Pumpkins would be enough to make her want to play.

Boy, did that work! I’d bought the instrumentless version of Rock Band since I already had a guitar controller, so she asked me, “Can you get the drums for this?”

“Yeah, they sell them separately.”

“Then get them.”

I did. At first she was really hesitant to sit down and play it. Once she got over her initial fear, she tried a few of the easiest songs, and really had a hard time with them. She didn’t seem to be having fun, and I thought that she would probably give up.

Cut to today. While I was at work she called me twice to tell me how high her note streaks were while playing “Say It Ain’t So” by Wheezer and “I’m So Sick” by Flyleaf. She was having a blast, and “Cherub Rock” was only a small part of it. I was so pleased, and when I got home we played a bit together.

And sop there you have it. Rock Band, making marriages stronger.

As you will recall, my wife had a seizure last week. It was the scariest moment of my life, but luckily she’s been okay since then and hasn’t had any other sort of issue (we see a neurologist in a couple of weeks, so cross your fingers for her). So, things had been looking up! I’d written a chapter on my novel, actually worked a complete 40 hour week, and no one else had suffered a calamity. Heck, we even managed to repaint the dining room!

Sadly, the good times didn’t last long. Saturday night, after getting home from work, I promptly started feeling bad (achy joints, throbbing head, that sort of thing), and when I eventually woke up Sunday I felt like a large vehicle had hit me going at considerable speed, and then backed up over me to make sure I got the point. Now, a day later, it all seems like a blur, and I barely remember anything. Today I felt better, thank the gods, and I think that I’m over whatever the hell it was. I suppose I should be thankful for small favors, eh?

Anyway, between my mother having a heart problem a month ago, and then my father-in-law, and then my wife, and now me, I have to wonder what I’ve done to deserve all this. I better have one hell of a summer coming…

Today was probably the worst day of my life. Let me share it with you.

It started off like any other day, as you would imagine the worst days to do. I was fine, my wife Krista was fine, our brood of pets were good, we still had jobs, and the roof over our heads was still standing. All in all, not bad.

Cut to about noon.

My boss and I have been out to lunch. We had Tex-Mex at a small place in town. It was good (I prefer the chips and salsa at a different place - which is how I judge a joint like that - but he wanted to go there, and he’s my boss, so you do the math). After that I ran into Best Buy to pick up Condemned 2 for the Xbox. My purchase made, we headed back to work. On the way my iPhone started ringing. I look at the callerID, but it isn’t a number I recognize. I answer anyway. A co-worker of mine is on the other end, and he doesn’t sound good.

“Justin, where are you at?”

“I’m on my way back from lunch, why?”

“You’re wife’s had a seizure. She’s in Patrick’s office right now, and an ambulance is on the way. You need to get back here.”

“She’s had a what? … I’m on my way. I’ll be there in just a minute.”

Thankfully, I wasn’t the one driving, otherwise I think I might have crashed right then and there because my heart was suddenly beating like a racehorse fresh from the track, and my hands were shaking. Another reason to be thankful was how close to work we were at the time. Had I been further away, I would have gone crazy.

About three minutes later and we’re zipping around to the front of the building where my wife and I both work. A firetruck has already pulled up, and I can see an ambulance entering the parking lot. The car has barely stopped rolling before I’m out of it and dashing up to the door. Inside, people are giving me that look. You know the one. That “Oh my god, I feel bad for him, thank god it’s not me” look. I run to Patrick’s office (he is her boss’s boss), and I see my wife lying on the floor. A cushion is beneath her head, and a wet towel is on her forehead. I can see that the carpet below her is wet from it (funny the things your eyes see when you’re in a panic). To my delight and surprise, she is conscious and aware of what’s happened, though she is obviously shaken. And, because I know how much she hates to be the center of attention, I also know she’s embarrassed by everyone standing around and looking at her. As I enter the room and hit my knees to sit beside her and talk to her, the EMT’s follow me in and go to work. They take her vitals, ask her questions (No, I’ve never had a seizure before, Yes, I’ve eaten today, No, I’ve felt fine otherwise, No, I’m not pregnant), and then ask her where she wants to go. She tells them the hospital we usually go to, which is also the one we were just at a few days before because of her father. Don’t ask. I tell her that I’ll grab her things and meet her there.

Her desk is nearby, and I grab her purse and iPhone and keys, then run to where I work and gather up my belongings, explaining as quickly as I can to everyone who asks what is going on. Once I have everything, I get in my truck and wheel around to the front of the building where the ambulance is waiting. They’re still there, putting an IV in and getting her ready. I tell her that I love her, make sure we’re all going to the same place, and then I drive off as quickly as I can.

The drive to the hospital was the darkest moment that I can ever remember. The entire way there my mind is going through all the horrible things that have or could still happen. What if she has another seizure on the way? What if she doesn’t make it? What if they have to stop somewhere else, and I’ll have no way of knowing since I have her purse and cell phone? What if this isn’t the first time, and she just didn’t want to tell me? What if, what if, what if. Your mind can go to some very dark and disturbing places where it has reason to.

Now, before I go any further, let me explain that this isn’t the first time she’s ever given me a scare. For the most part, we’re both healthy people. Her only real flaw is that she is not the most graceful person you’ll ever meet. Sure, we’re both overweight, but all in all we do just fine. A few years ago, though, I thought I’d lost her. We’d been on a Caribbean cruise, and during our stop at Cozumel we decided to go on an ATV excursion. All of us had our own 4-wheelers, and we were going to go ripping through the muddy and twisting jungle. During the first half of the ride, we were having a blast. All of us drove too fast, but it was fairly harmless. Occasionally, though, she wouldn’t stop quickly enough and would run into the woman in front of her. After we stopped for a break, Krista asked me to ride in front so I’d get the brunt of her faulty breaking attention. I was fine with that. After we took off again, I looked back a couple of times to see how she was doing, and I always got a bright, if muddy, smile from her. We went around a bin, and in front of us was a small gravel hill. The jump was fun, but nothing to write home about. I keep going, and after a handful of seconds I notice that the level of background noise has changed. I don’t think anything of it at first, but it nags at me, so I look back. No one is behind me. NO ONE. A few seconds later, the excursion leader that had been at the front of the pack goes racing past me back the way we’d come. My insides freeze, and I know something has happened to her. Somehow I manage to get my ATV turned around and I drive like crazy after him. When I get back to the place where I’d jumped the hill, I see Krista lying on the ground with everyone else around her. When I get to her I see that her neck is bleeding, her clothes are torn, and she is dazed. Someone nearby tells me that she was unconscious for several seconds. Had she not been wearing a helmet, I fear to think how much worse it could have been. We spend a few minutes letting her gather herself, and in the end she says she’s okay to keep riding. I know she’s lying, but for her it’s important to put on appearances and try to get things back to normal. Later that afternoon she cries and cries about how much it hurt, and for weeks afterward she has headaches and pain down her neck and back. She saw her doctor about it and had all sorts of tests done, but nothing is really horribly wrong, so there is little that can be done outside of pain killers and muscle relaxers. To this day she still has a stiff neck.

Now, having said all that, the amount of fear and horror I felt in that jungle was nothing to what I was feeling this afternoon. This wasn’t a bad fall. This was her brain fritzing out on her. That is scary unlike any scary I’d ever known.

The doctors at the hospital ran all sorts of tests and took CAT scans, and after it was all said and done they said that they couldn’t find anything unusual. Her brain looked normal, and her blood work was fine. They said that there are a number of reasons why a person will have a seizure that never happens again, and usually it’s little more than a freak occurrence. Of the 2% of the populace that has a seizure in their lifetime, the vast majority never has another one. But, if they do, then the odds are good that they will have more beyond that. So, long story short, they are hopeful that this will amount to nothing, and they let her go since she now feels better and has no other symptoms. She is supposed to see a Neurologist next week, and you can beat your ass that I’ll see to it she does.

And that’s it. She’s scared, and I’m scared, but there is little we can do but hope it never happens again. But it is a reminder to me that no matter how fine and normal everything is, there is always a chance that it will all come crashing down right out of the blue, with no warning, no lead in, and no time to prepare. There is a monster sitting in the back of my mind, and it won’t leave me alone. I don’t know if it will ever go away, though I’m sure it will. That is the nature of humanity, isn’t it? Given enough time, even the worst fears fade away. I’ll remember this day, though. My life will never be the same.

If you love someone, go tell them that you love them. Do it for me, for them, and for yourself. Never let a moment go by without you telling the people that you care about how much they mean to you. Love is something that you do, and not just something that you feel. I understand that now more than ever.

A quick update on my life…

Let’s see. Today I finished chapter seven on my novel, “King’s Knight.” That brings the word count to 32,427, which is approximately a third the way to my goal. Originally I’d intended the chapter to start off one way and then end with a big event (that was how I had it outlined, anyway), but while I was in the midst of writing it I felt that the time wasn’t yet right to do that. So, being the off-the-cuff sort o’ dude that I be, I decided not to do that, and will instead save it for the next chapter I write concerning that particular character.

I was also recently struck with an idea for a new sci-fi novel. It happened while I was out for one of my lunch-time walks last week, listening as I usually am, to a podcast. It was a video game podcast (not sure which one, but I think it was EGM Live), and they were discussing an upcoming game. Their talk got my mind to thinking about something else, which led to something else, which of course let to something else, and before I knew it I had this idea for a story burning through my brain. The images and ideas were so striking and powerful, and in the days after I couldn’t let it go. I still have one book to finish, and a third to complete the series, before I can even begin to contemplate something new, but that didn’t matter to the idea. It had been given life in my mind, and it wanted out, so I settled down last week and wrote up a quick prologue for the book. It was written quickly, and it probably won’t end up being what I go with later on, but it allowed me to exorcise the idea a little, and now I can get some peace.

The latest episode of my podcast, The Dead Robots’ Society, is out, and it is probably our most funny and disarming episode yet. Lately we’ve wanted to lighten things up some so that we don’t come off too stuffy or stodgy, and I think that episode is a good start. Had I not revealed that I am a sucker for Meg Ryan romantic comedies, it might not have ended as funny as it did, but that’s what happens when you reveal too much. Go on over there and give it a listen.

As for my non-writing life, things are going about as well as can be expected in these turbulent times. I still have a job, and the company I work for is still chugging along, but I know in the back of my mind that either of those things could change on a moment’s notice, so I never try to take it for granted (and yet I probably do). My marriage is as strong as it’s ever been, but personal events in my wife’s life had really taken some zip from her step, and it kills me that there is little I can to change it. I want most in life for her to be happy and content, and the longer she goes without feeling that way, the worse I feel. That said, we’re both still in love, we both still have a house filled with pets we adore, and neither of us wants for much. All in all, I really don’t have anything to complain about.

Anyway, that’s it from me for now. Life hasn’t stopped yet, and until it does I’m going to just keep trucking along with it.